Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
the night ended with taco bell and tears
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
