Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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