The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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