she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
accomplished twins. life is a go
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
