White coat. Heels.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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