we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
