Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
