Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
