I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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