I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
