5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Randomize
