Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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