that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
