Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
i drank out of a bidet.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
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