So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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