I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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