dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
