My first STD was from a foam party
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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