Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
