You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
