i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Sacagawea was the original milf.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
