Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
