yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
