I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
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