I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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