Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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