call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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