see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
