Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
