so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
