So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
