I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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