She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
