operation have a gay friend backfired
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
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