Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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