If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize
