I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
