waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
