Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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