I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
