So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
