He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
