he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
