i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Mom said you looked used
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Randomize
