Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize
