I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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