Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
