I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
