They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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