Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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